"And I told you to be patient
And I told you to be fine
And I told you to be balanced
And I told you to be kind" --Bon Iver
And I told you to be fine
And I told you to be balanced
And I told you to be kind" --Bon Iver
I walked in the country last week. I saw the most amazingly long, luxurious grass. Beautiful grass. It grew in tufts and tumbles, thin and green, and immediately reminded me of the ocean, or short wavy hair. It looked like it should be moving but it wasn't. It was still. I reached out to touch it. It reached back. I wish I had realized sooner in my life that you can unify with grass.
I cut the water. I like to canoe. I have a great canoe partner. He likes to be in the front. I like to be in the back. He knows where to go and how to navigate the water. I never worry when I'm with him. He guides us well. I hope I get to keep him for a long while. I've learned to value every moment. He shows me worlds I didn't remember. Our worlds. I missed them. He sees things I don't.
Yesterday morning, the sun was shining...those long, lost streams of light. The ones that look like Celestial spotlights. Every morning it comes in the east window and splits the living room. It dances on my walls and tickles the edges of my antiqued furniture. If I forget to open the cascading curtains, the rays wait patiently for my realization. Sometimes I lay in them, like a cat. Sometimes my cat lays with me. We sleep. We wake. Sometimes I force myself to sleep again because I want to know what happens in my dream. It used to be sad to wake up so often. Now, it isn't. Hm.
The trees in my yard sound like waves. I'll explain later. Someday.
I got into my car and noticed there were dried water spots on my neighbor's windshield. None on mine. Odd. It rained in his world, but not mine. Or maybe he watered his lawn and I didn't. I drove a little further and passed a girl getting into, or out of, her car. She had long dark hair with Pocahontas-like stuff in her hair. Her hair swung and the sun passed through it in slow motion. Blessing.
I'm not sure what I want right now. Today. Do I want a little space in the blueberry sky? A post on a cloud (the-I-wonder-what-clouds-feel-like kind.) Where time freezes and I get to just think and do nothing else, all by myself, or do I want it to be a separate world where other people on their personal clouds can wave to each other and talk as they wonder about things and collect their thoughts? And do I want to have a limited amount of time there every day to make sure I don't neglect normal life or do I want to trust myself to control the time I spend up there? I also want to chat with old friends because I know they are online too and I haven't talked to them in a long time but I know we're both busy. I would like to do stuff I used to like to do all the time like color and paint and sing and make music.
One day I'll be brave enough to open all the curtains in my room. I expect to be woken up by an explosion of light. I can hardly wait.
It's raining again. Maybe a nap.
